‘I’m a little outdated, a little old-school’: simplicity, self-doubt and steel guitar

I recently came across a song by a cowboy-hat wearing guy called Alex Key. He’s someone who’s making some very good music that’s fitting in with the neo-traditional, 90s country revival going on at the minute and I love the sound. However, with this one song in particular, it wasn’t the sound that got me – essentially, ‘Outdated’ is a love letter to the past and an anthem for people that feel that kind of stuff deeply. It’s very American, I’m sure a lot of people would roll their eyes when they hear it, but it kind of took me by surprise and as I’ve had it on repeat, has become a little more than just fun.  

              It’s full of lyrics about being ‘a little outdated, a little old-school’ and being ‘born in the wrong time’. To a classically country background of guitar, steel and fiddle, he sings about old cars, old manners and old boots. For someone that feels all of this, and also geographically feels pretty out of place it hit hard.

              I think what I’m struggling with at the minute is that I knew what I cared about, but I now realise that a lot of these things are distinctly American. It only took 5 months in the US for me to realise that it feels a lot more like home than anywhere I’ve been before, but at least for now, it’s a home I can’t go back to – I’ve got a degree to finish and a Visa to figure out.

I’ve been back in the UK for just over a month now and I’ve definitely found that things I could spend hours talking about with friends in the US aren’t met with quite as warm a reception here. America isn’t the easiest place to talk about from the outside, especially at the minute. You don’t have to tell me that the country has its problems, I’m an American Studies student, I’ll be the first one to tell you what they are, but I do think that dominant narratives can cause problems, whatever those narratives are. For someone who has such a deep love for Americana, for the endlessly moving country music, the incomparable immensity of the land, the openness of the people, the simplicity of small-town living, and the occasionally but charmingly misplaced positivity, it’s somewhere that offers me all I’ve ever wanted. But from a lot of people, these little joys are overshadowed by negativity and comments of ‘but why would you want to move to America?’ which can get a little tiring and occasionally a little disheartening.

To some extent, coming back to the UK from the US and wanting to talk to people about country music has let the imposter syndrome creep in and has me asking myself why I think I should be talking about a culture and lifestyle I wasn’t even remotely raised on. Above almost anything else, I love American music, so I guess it’s because I love it and because I care about where it’s come from that it feels like home. Perhaps that’s enough to make me ‘worthy’ of talking about it? I’ve been working on pulling myself out of this self-doubting headspace the last couple of days.

              Before going any further, I deeply apologise to anyone reading, you’ll have to bear with me, I’m going to be rambling but this one’s more a case of me needing to get things out of my head to figure them out and writing them down is usually my go-to.

              I’m someone that loves hard, cares deeply and feels intensely. I recently said to my sister that ‘my sensitivity and sentimentality is a blessing’, it was kind of a joke and she told me to get it printed on a t-shirt, but it’s something I genuinely need to remind myself of sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with finding joy in simplicity. There’s nothing wrong with having dreams that might seem trivial to others. And there’s nothing wrong with being a little outdated. This is where Alex Key’s song comes in, I’m a little outdated, but it isn’t just me.

              I collect vinyl. Because I think there is so much value in physical media, in having a 12-inch sleeve with the album cover standing next to the record player as a song might skip a little because of a scratch. Because you get to have a little conversation with the shop owner as they say that Pieces of The Sky was a good choice. Because I might not need another Glen Campbell record, but ‘this one has that live recording of Gentle on My Mind on that I love’. Because I found the exact Pure Prairie League album I was looking for in a little record shop in Nashville, and now I’ll always remember exactly where I found it - you don’t get that feeling through streaming.

              I read classic American literature, because I love it and because I take American lit classes. Every book I buy is second hand, whether they’re for me or a gift for someone else. Buying a novel with a little message from the previous owner that says something like ‘happy birthday, I know you’ll fall in love with these characters!’ written in that person’s best pen or nearest pencil holds an extra story. A receipt or shopping list being used as a bookmark is a little piece of someone’s everyday life. An old price sticker on the back cover can tell you exactly where it was first bought. And these are worth a hell of a lot more to me than a new copy with an uncreased spine.

              My favourite film of all time is Stand By Me. So much of this film is made up of simple scenes of these four kids, whose thoughts and feelings make up the storyline, walking across train tracks, across bridges, through forests and fields during a warm American summer in Oregon and it’s beautiful. I rewatch it every few months. Anytime I hear Ben E. King singing Stand By Me I get tears in my eyes, and can genuinely feel that bass line in my heart.

              I can’t understand why keeping a forty-year-old truck on the road and replacing parts every so often doesn’t outweigh the environmental damage caused by emissions from the production of a brand-new car that people will want to replace in a few years anyway? Maybe I’m missing something here, please explain if you know – this could be the starry-eyed Americana part of me talking. Although Alex is with me on this: ‘I still drive an old Chevy…. Still like using my hands, fixing something myself’ (not that I know how to fix cars).

              I spend weekends going to vintage shops, farmers markets, antique fairs and car-boot sales, buying old road maps, glassware, baking tins and seventy-year-old postcards that were each written with love, a story and a stamp. This resulted in me bringing too much stuff home and opening an online vintage shop, but with each sale I got to send something old to a new home.

              I’m more than willing to spend three hours waiting for some dough to rise rather than buy a loaf of shop bought bread, you’ll get something a lot better out of that time. Sunday mornings are for pancakes, even though I can’t find Vermont maple syrup anywhere in the UK and am probably experiencing withdrawals. Drink a morning cup of coffee outside, the fresh air makes it taste stronger. Locally grown strawberries are always better, it was one of the things I was actually looking forward to coming back to the UK to. Leaving handwritten notes for people holds more love than a text, that’s something I got from my mum. And ask people how their day’s going and actually listen to the answer, Brits I’m looking at you.

              So, call me a romantic, an optimist, an idealist, a dreamer, or maybe even a little delusional, I just think that life really is what you make of it. I might be making mine ‘a little old-school’ but it sure is what I want. I do doubt myself sometimes - as the last few days of imposter syndrome and spiralling have shown me - thinking maybe I’m taking this a little far, that I’m being naïve or something, but Alex Key reminded me that it’s clearly not just me, he feels a little ‘stuck in the past’ too and it might not be a bad thing. Oh, and he knows that ‘country music ain’t country without cryin steel guitar’.